Forging friendships shouldn’t be hard. We all know, perhaps may even be, one of those paragons of virtue who are kind, compassionate, and helpful, and have a flashy personality to boot. Maybe even a flashy personality who likes to wear boots.
Most of us love those people. Not everyone does, because some people are just miserable, and hate all kind, compassionate, flashy, boot-wearing paragons, most notably those who are arch-enemies and nemeses (the plural form of nemesis, an arch-rival) of superheroes and urban legends. I’ve always thought how interesting life would be with your very own arch-enemy, or nemesis. If anyone ever doubted their own importance in the world, they could rest assured of their value by whether they keep a superhero up at night with their shenanigans.
My mom is haunting me. I used to tell her before she died that if she knew what was good for her, she would never commit homicide. I know that sounds like something the Gambinos might growl at each other, but I didn’t tell her that just to protect her hide from me, or my hide from her. I told her that because she was Kleenex challenged. Now, she is haunting me.
Bad habits suck, and so does the notion of willpower. I have absolutely no self-control when it comes to food. Ergo, I keep on hand only that food that will enable the goal of health and weight loss. If I want something else, I have to go out of the house to get it. By the time I figure out that I have to change my clothes, put on shoes, and drive somewhere, I’ve changed my mind and the Cheetos whim has flown the coop.
Heartbreak and obsession over a break up is, without a doubt, emotional. It is not necessarily only emotional, though. It has physical manifestations, in the same way physical pain has emotional manifestations. Both can wreak havoc on the immune system, and
lead to isolation and detachment from other people.
The study of addiction, and why some people become addicted to substances after just trying it once, whereas others do not, is in a sense the study of moral luck, according to Adam Levanthal, director of the Health, Emotion, and Addiction Laboratory at USC. He says we are wired to want to feel good, so becoming addicted to something is not just crazy behavior, it is ‘evolutionarily adaptive’.
I recently read a description of addiction as being the ‘compulsive pursuit of pleasure’. That was a surprise to me. Many of the things people are addicted to, food, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, don’t make them happy all of the time, but perhaps that’s where the ‘pursuit’ part comes in. Our brains keep hoping.
The poster above is meant to be somewhat humorous, and I took it in that spirit, when first I saw it. I even reminded the person who had found the poster that Jews, Polynesians, and a host of other people, were illegal aliens at one time. This person responded by saying that at least those ‘others’ had not killed all indigenous people when they arrived at their destination. I told him that the Polynesians may not have killed all people where they landed, but they killed and ate every other living thing, and then moved on to the next island. This is ancient history, but it is still true. And, had all indigenous people been exterminated here, then we would not be hearing from them at all, would we?
A woman’s guide to everything should always include advice for relationships with the opposite sex, although we can act pretty contrary, too. When it comes to contrary, nothing fills the bill like a male/female relationship.
I have been reading articles lately that focus on women’s inability to find a mate. Sometimes, their circle of friends supports them too vigorously in their complaints about the boyfriend, and urges them to ‘kick him to the curb’ without delay. (http://www.marieclaire.com/celebrity-lifestyle/articles/best-friend-worst-enemy?click=main_sr) Other factors also play a role in this inability to find ‘the one’. Generally, it’s an ego the size of a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon that is coming between a person and their goal, to find ‘their soul mate’.
On the website, Divine Caroline, there is an article from Linx Dating service that talks about the standards the author’s clients have for a possible mate. The clients are all successful, stylish, well-heeled professionals, and so it naturally follows that they must be the respective equivalents of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who indeed make a beautiful and well-matched couple.
It’s no secret that we are not only what we eat (most of us are either really salty, or really sweet) but we are also what we think. Our thoughts drive our emotions, our attitudes, and our outlooks, as surely as night follows day. Our thoughts are the keys that turn over the ignition of our mind. I love metaphors; if thoughts are the keys to the ignition, then metaphors are the wiring to a fancier car.
Metaphors can change the current in which your thoughts are flowing. As I was thinking about thoughts, thinking about metaphors distracted me from thinking about thoughts, which only serves to prove my point. Which I’ve forgotten.
Oh, yeah! Thoughts. I was lying in bed this morning, still caught in that delightful state between waking and going back to sleep, and something kept niggling at my mind. It was something vaguely upsetting. It centered around all the crud we have to listen to from various factions, and the fact that no one can agree on what is wrong. Is the country being run by jerks, or should it be taken over by a new set of jerks? As I listen to people argue their various points, I realize there are some I agree with, and some I don’t. If I speak out for the ones with which I have sympathy, I invariably get a comment from someone that my views are not in sympathy with some group’s plight. Or that I don’t get the big picture. It’s true; I rarely get the big picture, and as I get older, I don’t really care about the big picture.
Of all the things in the news this week, or indeed in any given week, that are mind-boggling, one stands out for me. A crime spree and subsequent flight by car of three siblings in their twenties, gave me some food for thought. Not because their crimes were so surprising or strange, or any more heinous than other crimes. No, just the fact that they were siblings, and lit out together on their little adventure.
How many families show this kind of unity? Are we looking at deep dysfunction here, or a brotherly/sisterly love that transcends the bond that most families I know have? When I did a search on the internet under the general term of ‘siblings who,’ a host of sites popped up on how parents can help their siblings get along. Most parents were concerned about fights between siblings, and worried whether they were introducing their children to a lifetime of fighting, rather than a lifetime of having a close relationship with a family member. http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/11/when-siblings-fight/